Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and a few other phrases and words are among a small number of terms that foreigners just in Korea learn and one of them is actually the term chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this word to their sentences that are english hesitation and employ it seemingly without understanding what it really means. This might be probably one of my minimum words that are favorite Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I became using Korean lessons four times per week for four hours every day. I happened to be devouring just as much because I was dating a Korean man, most of my friends were Korean and of course I was living in Korea and I wanted to make life just a bit easier as I could of the language. Before you take the classes, I happened to be hesitant and weary of the things I regarded as forced respect inside the guidelines associated with language, areas of the language that force us to show a respect that I might not need for somebody. Simply because people are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect and also at that point I’d held it’s place in enough situations to understand that a number of, frequently, guys simply assumed that i ought to be respectful of these and even though they disrespected me in several ways. Through the classes, we learned simple tips to show my disapproval whenever being disrespected without being downright rude and I also discovered simple tips to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the primary lessons I learned, nonetheless, was that We have nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here in out “friend” in parenthesis is the Korean type of friend while a freestanding friend will function as the English variation.)

My hubby, boyfriend during the time, and I also made a decision to have a meet up at our home and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us across the dining table and I also was the only foreigner in the spot. Only at that point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of his buddies for a great 4 or 5 years plus in my tongue that is native would call them my buddies. Following the meals BrazilCupid mobile site was finished therefore the dishes acquired, I was thinking a game title will be enjoyable. Using just what I’d learned from class about how to call some body by title, we said, “So-yung-a, do you wish to play a game title?” utilizing the reduced kind of the language. I experienced been gaining self-confidence with the language and deploying it whenever i really could. There was clearly an audible gasp and after a couple of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two of this more aggressively conservative people of the team explained i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Friend 1: So-yung is over the age of you will be.

Friend 2: You can’t state “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than this woman is.

Me personally: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me personally: just What do you realy suggest? I’ve known her for many years. She is had by me telephone number during my phone. She is seen by me a great deal. Our company is friends and my guide says this is certainly an ending that is appropriate a friend.

Buddy 2: No, you can’t be buddies because this woman is more than you might be.

Me personally: we don’t know very well what you’re saying.

Buddy 1: you are able to only be friends with somebody this is the age that is same your self.

Me personally: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You might be all my buddies and you’re all over the age of i will be.

Friend 1: We aren’t your pals.

After that I went along to my space for only a little cry mostly because I became simply told I experienced no friends as well as due to the fact language these were using to convey their standpoint ended up being extremely aggressive and I also don’t handle aggressive situations well. Originating from a teaching standpoint, aggressively attacking students for making use of a word or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever makes the pupil respond in a way that is positive. Often, the learning student becomes more fearful to make use of the language or make an effort to utilize terms in the foreseeable future unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. I additionally reminded my “friends” later on that I don’t assault them if they misuse a word, if it’s exceptionally rude, We remind myself so it’s not their very first language and I also you will need to assist them understand just why it can be taken the wrong way. My “friends” however, are not so patient with my language acquisition. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two associated with the more tolerant people in our group arrived in to sooth me personally and explain in nicer terms what everybody else had gotten so upset about.

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